Howling & Yowling


Nothing like an old classic…

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Max ‘Tha Tapz’ is a very over excited wanna-be tap dancer. Under Victor Bernstein’s guidance he has made it to the third round of Wag-Factor and is tipped to win. A Vancouver born lad, from a modest home, he is set on experiencing everything. His girl is really proud of him, as are his parents. Worried that his cross-dressing habits are getting out of control – he knows that the stage is where he needs to be.

‘I may be small, but W-factor – that’s WOW factor between you and me – ain’t about size! No sir! I got the moves…I got the grooves! I got the flaps, I does the taps!’

VOTE FOR MAX – TEXT – TOP TAPPING POODLE to 1-800-WAG FACTOR.*

*All calls cost 75 boneos a minute from a landline and 499 boneos per second from a mobile. You must be over 37 (dog years) to use this number, if not make sure you run it by your human companion before you press those pads!

One half of Turkey’s top TV comedy Duo, E & M, Erdem rarely appears alone but since his partners much publicised ‘incident’ in 2007 with Tolga the Terrier and Dachshund Duman, he’s been making a solo name for himself on the stand-up circuit. Only a young orphan himself, he is always bailing his little sister out of trouble, as she gets into all kinds of mischief with her band The Stray Packs.

Born in Brazil, and resident in the Caymans Island, New York and Monaco, Naomi is a B-I-T-C-H. She loves the camera, but refuses to work without a fan and 17 bowls of dark chocolate doggoSnax. Her water bowl must be filled almost to the brim with Poochel Sparkling Spring Water, if it’s tap – she’ll walk.

‘I’ve just flown in from New York after a week of gruelling training sessions with Pascal Le Chien De Rambo – or whatever! – that dog is a taskmaster I can tell you! People have no idea how hard I work. I told my assistant – get me Victor on the phone now!’. She’s such a dimwit, it took her three shakes of a lab’s tail to get me connected. And then she got my name wrong and said she was putting a call through from a Miss Hissy-Fit! Just because my name has a hyphen in it, can it really be so hard to remember? Holy smoke! I could have thrown…You just can’t get the staff these days…so, anyway, I’ve lowered my fee considerably to take part in Dogs’ Ears – well you know, everybody wants to work with JF these days, and normally of course I don’t move from my basket for less than £50,000 dollars – although in the current climate one really prefers Swiss Francs, you know what I’m saying? I just hope they realise who they’re dealing with. I really do. Otherwise we’ll all be sorry.’

Meko has an unusual penchant for wearing sheepskin clothing, her favourite being a cerise mini skirt from a local Osakan herd. Meko is a pilot and part-time saxophonist. She adores flight and is happiest when she’s flying her refurbished Kawasaki Ki-45 over the mountains. A successful biotech scientist, her tiny home is full of her own invention the AtoPets – sub-nano biological devices built from the atom up. AtoSnack – will create all of the ingredients you need for any recipe, AtoPants – generates new underwear from old, everyday. For more see http://www.atopets.jp

Dog Humour

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

1. Golden Retriever – The sun is shining, the day is young, we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us, and you’re inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie – Just one. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code.
3. Dachshund – You know I can’t reach that stupid lamp.
4. Rottweiler – Make me.
5. Boxer – Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab – Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd – I’ll change it as soon as I’ve led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven’t missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier – I’ll just pop it in while I’m bouncing off the walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog – Light bulb? I’m sorry, but I don’t see a light bulb!
10. Cocker Spaniel – Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark.
11. Chihuahua – Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or “We don’t need no stinking light bulb.”
12. Greyhound – It isn’t moving. Who cares?
13. Australian Shepherd – First, I’ll put all the light bulbs in a little circle…
14. Poodle – I’ll just blow in the Border Collie’s ear and he’ll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

From dogsforwomen.com